Articles

Our Date Turned Explosive!


Hey hello lady how about that a
Valentine’s date you promised me if I came back fancy seeing you yes Oh
look at that you’re starting off the day with a pickup line whoa sorry I’m not
trying to get that close that soon promise what are you doing in here
there’s things is that my arm what are you doing with my arm while I wasn’t
here huh all right Liv tell me something funny work like Google does a lot to do
out there jack we need to stay focused are you really that sucked into work
that you can’t just go on the day you promised me I fixed the radiation out
there you realize that right that was very dangerous I almost died like five
times I think I did that once but I’m back and you promised me if I come back
home live status report live yeah status report we doin this you have what to do
no no I do yeah screw you I’ll just find a labor bot or something to have a date
with I made dinner for you tube out doink I would one of these days I would
love to be able to shoot through the hole and make it my first try but I’m
pretty sure that’s how virgins feel to the lunchbox come here not a lunchbox
that’s the backpack thing maybe we should put that where it belongs I’m
trying to impress the labor bot not scare them know my name departure it’s
not gonna stay actually can I eat that in space well bye look Danny go I still
see it goodbye processing my homeboy there’s a
lot to do investigate the primary dig site all right let’s go ship you and me
go destiny she even looks like bringing their takes I gotta flow to the area for
thruster ignition please don’t hit the rock please don’t hit the rock
any sign of activity no it’s gone dog it becomes away that sorry dark there’s a
lot of blinky light all systems appear offline emergency lighting only okay
something wrong here uh obviously um leave it to me
maybe if I impress those should imitate Suri Jack oh I’ll help you from here as
best I can shutting into it oh I’ll try to get the site’s radiation dampener
online okay I’m investigating some kind of container this is a container of some
sort oh crap I’m going down fast beam me up please quickly quickly quickly okay
I’m healthy again we know up thank you this is something and that’s something
what is it Liv I’m finding things floating all over the place here can you
tell me what they’re for work I don’t know what all these pieces are you’ve
sent me to something I don’t know about they’re just nope is there anything whoa
okay I feel like there needs to be like some kind of a like something talking to
you are we done no wait am i charged or am I not sure
okay you’re basically a woman you can’t decide what you want to do and I’m
allowed to say that cuz I’m a woman and I can’t make up my mind half the time no
don’t hit the rock out crap oh no bad bear what this whoa where are these
frozen dudes here drill down something battery socket this battery socket
should provide backup power to the dampening field but it’s not doing
anything at the moment shields at 50% oh great see we can get right to it go go
go ah that’s almost like putting it in the hole okay there’s the generator
no no shields at 95% well that was lucky it’s definitely depleted well that
explains that no fury transport should have a spare you can replace it with oh
come on dude get the battery out of there live this
thing is goofy it’s going through it come on dude just come out of the closet
system batteries busted live just kill me and start it over come on it’s stuck
it’s doc okay you’re free you’re free come on
where’d you know I’m stuck well my boot initiated thank you should be only after
the transport I can’t know right stuck now can I
there’s nothing what are the God’s green earth that’s going live i glitched in my
emergency shutdown live live I’m stuck in the machine
well crap we’ll try this again alright listen here mr. generator you and I are
gonna have some words okay you caused me to have an emergency shutdown because
you’re broken safe now didn’t glitch sure that time and get you killed did
you you’re a really ugly version of a minion
do you realize that the backup battery should be on the after the transport the
aft what is an aft hold on I need to charge my shield cuz you almost killed
me again I’m talking to the ass of a battery
welcome to VR what the hell is an aft Oh found ya better reacquired go into the
hole charge it please you’re a nice one you’re nice and blue and pretty and
you’re not glitching me and killing now you’re gonna power my generator so
you say life go into the hole and close and we have power restored I should be
able to turn the dampener on now okay generator can I power you now up no well
poop what the fuck is a dampener what is the dampener look like live Oh online
here let me help you oh no no live you owe me like a million dollars in Hazzard
pay do you realize that that’s a lot of her about money
I don’t know how robots spend money maybe on upgrades and I want a really
cool upgrade in a new car look for a maintenance penalty
you found the panel look at me I’m so smart sometimes okay no I don’t want
that cutter stay in the line almost straight
maintenance kind of remove the fuel rod is partially melted they in a scanner
main fuel supply depleted depleted yep all the gas is
gone fusion rods can last a century there have been longer than a century
well if you have a moment no boy could you scan those labor units to all my
dead friends okay come here friend just just need to ask you a quick question
please stop floating so I stopped floating in spectrum lattice
displacement thank you suffered catastrophic
radiation damage broad specification oh that’s all you need interest to keep
around I was gonna scan more dudes for you but we can do it is this a jettison
oh now you’re launching do you come out this hole oh yes where we found a new
fuel run I’m guessing it is somewhere here in the site’s core enclosure how do
we open said closure Oh scan it that’s right scan I need a manual with all of
this live if I’m gonna be captain shit do I just take this or acquired don’t
bump it this is radioactive I should probably close that core you’re
loaded close this please read safety protocols well I was going to re-engage
the safety protocols on the fuel dub Bay don’t mind that weird noise do I need to
put the panel back oh this control rods engaged and they’re
on Tanz engage with primary reestablished excellent we are it I
pulled a few labor units out of mothballs girl need to assemble them
before you move on I have to put robots together what kind of cruel world is
this I have to put my own people together yeah we’re gonna name these
guys it’s gonna be Steve how do oh I see the parts are in the container
kind of like a really fancy case there you go
the data’s all uh-oh something like that’s alimony isn’t just a massive
radiation this okay so what else could it be another leg
do I have to attach a wiener two robots have wieners to my face how many of
these am I getting is there a budget for this aren’t you glad I know where your
hands should point whoa okay locked in grab you by your balls robot balls
anyway that scared me for a minute I thought something was dangling this is
the right leg I think yep your foots point in the right direction we’re good oh no not another one I told you I
wanted one more that’s great but where is he at is he in here open know that guy I found you
hello are you coming to work for oh you already work for me
never mind that Steve we’re gonna win on a trip we’re going on a trip I don’t
know where we’re going but we’re going on a trip
you said it’s somewhere nearby live I’m nearby I need to see nobody my sensors
are picking up a signal from deeper inside this cave I’m scared oh it’s me
it’s really dark live oh I found it came on accident and I don’t know what’s in
here now I’m curious what’s in the cave well oh here it is a hole well I can’t
go any further crap on a cracker Sarah robot friend
that I’m looking for in here somewhere robot lady there’s something there is
stuff in here hang on there’s a rock are you a smart robot and
left a trail to find you this is a really deep
okay well though feels weird that I’m whoa okay robot friend
what are you something stem it’s this labor unit perhaps I can repair it can I
repair it you’re so smart you know that I’m gonna name me Milo it’s gotta be
your leg is its ear your other leg oh yeah it is sorry I’m trying to put your
feet on backwards Milo there you go do I have to go hunting for your body
parts and then I have a friend I almost want to say sir robot but we need the
help back at the plant plant it not plant you need an arm Milo are shit now
I’m gonna be damaged like you there’s a really tight oh my god Jesus
I found the arm but it’s like how did you manage to disapp this come apart
into so many little pieces did you get spooked and throw away all your
appendages I don’t know there you go repairs complete I’m better now that I
have you friend you’re damaged negative now it is operating at ten thousand
percent efficiency oh my god can see the bridge is in excellent condition you
you’re staring at Iraq negative negative what is this is the bridge I recommend
you schedule yourself for maintenance echo 1 negative you’re being sassy
what the hell do you mean by that it thinks a giant rock is a bridge she’s
speaking to captain Rhodes yes tell her that I am nearly finished
clearing her browsing history maybe you should just leave cleaning her browser
history me and Liv could be best friends then that is a classified assignment
given to me by captain Rhodes please fly your memory of that
I shall night for the record that I never told it to do that is that captain
Rhodes yes please stop talking to that Android ok captain by labor unit have
fun fixing your bridge fury bye it’s holler at me if you need help and
there’s there’s there’s a robot in the cave go say hi he seems a little lonely
like an old person in the frickin nursing home his name is Milo processing
line fury take me there please don’t take forever to load up your coronation
please hold on holding with one hand actually no I don’t wanna get eat it
again what it should have been good for another century before it burned out
what are you talking about you strange is going on here lamb you just started
talking you got a fuel rod out of nowhere I don’t know what are you so
concerned with that one I jettisoned in the space forget about that it’s working
now primary dig sites fine we got robot friends over there take
care of things for us although I don’t like your comment about delegating that
processing line pulse knocked out the flow control on the plasma aids and the
holding out of control and draining the power reserves all of us will need to
enter the processing line and reach the emergency reset I hope that’ll be me I
do it of course I won’t duh you weren’t you in would you or not you confirming
that’s why we make such a good team I don’t know if we do anymore you ditched
me on Valentine’s Day Let Me In if you reset the transformer
above you I might be able that want away for life okay so I have to go back up
and talk to this guy anyway sorry I left you sir and then realize I need to come
talk to you I’m sorry I didn’t mean to bump into you I’m trying to do this
quickly for the boss how do I reset you oh oh we just need to make what a
straight line there you go we have power hello service entrance I’m gonna have to
avoid all the laser lights how many suits am I gonna go through you might
need to expand the budget for that it’s gonna be a lot of emergency shut
I have to get to meet Jack me Jackie there another EMP be careful in there
I’m trying I’m being melted that was gloves okay I’m almost there I’m almost
there why is it telling me to do go here Oh
get the heck out of there get out out go to clean there we go
maintenance units shouldn’t be entering the line while the cutting systems are
active well they’re acting a little bit very wrong here
how are you safe out here okay there any jammed conveys the full moving on I’m
working on it live don’t zoom me please how to put get in here come on out with
it Oh No if this foot gets me kicked out I
swear I’m never getting another with the nav protocols it was very painful about
this no I’m certain it’s the only way to shut down the plasma lanes let her jump
in here she gets an emergency shutdown mode – just kidding she team me zoom
here biscuit really she she’s gonna be back shut up this is what happens when
you put me with no sense of movement and bad timing and I’m into laser lights can
you raise me from the dead mister he won’t even talk to me he’s like how can
you call yourself and duck duck shit okay no go up up stop
Juke and me thirty percent I said stop joking jerking joking
jerking joking me I said stop joking me mister Oba I’m gonna have to ask you to
wipe your memory of everything that you’ve seen here today go down further
no there we go I’m short but not minuscule whoa talk about a split-second
decision okay time this right time that’s right hahaha
any sign of a working hard driving on this wreckage what I see dependent isn’t
love you see Pete Norris no sir I’m not looking for additional work here can we
just please make it over here switch that should trigger an emergency hey
there’s a head director connection to stop there we go data stream and reset
first come on we did it I did it
processing – fix live Tori well you don’t have any limbs power output back
within normal parameters whoa whoa nice moves in there
thank you and only took me seven tries cardiac you’ll need to aim the sensor
array at the anomaly I’m heading out to rig up the transponder don’t you go
anywhere sorry Jack I need a direct line into the
lathe systems – the power supply you didn’t warn me about any less live I’m
following protocol to the letter promise mostly grab a Furion head I’m already
headed there without the ferryman way you’re gonna meet me here good I can
carpool with you back home cuz I’m flying here well then we’re getting
close to that anomaly and I’m not very happy
computer computer engage dig site generator online wherever our minds
processing I’ll need to make sure its power Junction is directed towards the
sensor array what the hell is a junction power junction power Junction mmm-hmm I
guess we have to go wherever these blinky things
oh there it is see right in front of me wash up scan every time you see what are
they scan it power rerouted where is this hello friend censor censor censor
what sensor is that that’s the sensor look for the main control confounder
activate you should be able to activate the sensor from that I already did
you’ll need to rotate the dish so it faces the anomaly before we can get a
clear reading oh you gotta go the other way dude signal strength just keep going
Jack it’s working I can tell that it’s getting bigger you raised no pointed at
the epicenter of the anomaly what are we finding out we’re downloading something
important in a minute to process the data okay
Jack what happened everything’s down my connection to the sensor I think it blew
the fuse oh great shit you’ll need to cut through to access the fuse box
cutter armed dangerous oh wait that’s the scanner okay we’re not armed and
dangerous now we are KITT why are you not floating are you still attached go
into space have a nice trip take this off before I cut anything else
take that off I have so many gadgets in my hands the Philippine fuse is broke
there we go I think I found one live hang on wait got it
be a shame if this broke actually they’re not really because there’s
another one into the hole a little stabilizing okay now we just need to
realign the array how many times are we gonna have to align this this thing is
gonna blow up again synchronize there we go scanning it I don’t think the anomaly
is realigned can you phone hello well I think it works jack yeah I picked up
something on the oscilloscope I’m patching the audio through okay is
anything good do you hear that no what the hell is this sound like something’s
breathing live it’s happening it’s live live are you I need you to Fury trust
vote and get back in now I’m going I’m going
live I’m going as fast as I can I promise I told her this was dangerous no
brake brake brake brake we need to go home home select your destination home
and go you go now faster faster I didn’t say slower you piece of junk I
said faster captain nerds is in danger she needs me she’s never said that
before not even on our date go Jack okay Liv are you stuck
oh god card for you are you okay it just switched on I watched all right that’s
it I should I make a mile can you see a way to get me out wait I’ve seen this
before we have to cut it off cess do you have a
hacksaw if you cut through the bolts we can get it look inside oh here there’s
your bolt there’s bolts there you go we’re inside
is there anything to see the pulse knocked out my cutting tonight I have
nothing look nothing the anomaly is changing what is it yeah I am and the entire solar system is
going out I’m going as fast as I can okay go inside live shit my things not working

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *