Articles

Eugene Ranks Popular Cocktails Around The World


(both laughing)
– Oh my God, you’re so funny.
I forgot.
– Hey, ladies, what are
we drinking tonight?
– I was thinking like a vodka soda.
– I was thinking like a vodka Diet Coke.
– Or maybe like a vodka soda with lime–
– (slapping) No!
We are not basic bitches.
There are so many
wonderful alcoholic things
for us to try.
Barkeep?
– Yes?
– Give us the best national cocktail
from around the world.
– [Both] Around the world.
– [Asadour] Which cocktail
exactly we’re talking about?
– Well, we’ll find out on this episode
of The Rank King: International Cocktails.
– [Both] Cocktails.
– I’m right, you’re wrong, shut up.
– [Both] Shut up.
– [Eugene] And speaking of my catchphrase,
by popular demand,
we’re proud to introduce
the official Rank King t-shirt,
written in my very own handwriting,
which you can get now at
tryguys.com, in black or white.
Finally, you can tell your
friends that you’re right,
they’re wrong, and they should shut up.
(upbeat music)
(tropical music)
– [All] Try Guys Gay Time!
– Welcome to The Rank King,
the show where I rank things.
I’m your rank king,
Eugene, and I would like
to welcome my very special
guests, the Rank Skanks.
– Transgender supermodel, Arisce Wanzer.
– International drag icon,
and West Hollywood legend, Rhea Litre.
– So I’ve been known to
drink around countries,
and today, we’re gonna be
drinking around the world.
No, this isn’t a liquor,
this isn’t a wine.
This is an actual mixed drink
that a specific country is know for.
– The wonderful staff and
bartender here at BG Lounge
have done an exceptional
job making these cocktails.
What are your personal
drinking preferences?
– I am a sassy Latina
who loves her tequila.
It keeps me up all night, and
my calories are super low,
’cause I drink it neat.
– I like champagne,
because I’m a bougie bitch.
I expect nothing but the best.
– This isn’t a dating video.
I’m not trying to get you a man.
– Oh, I’ve already got one.
– Oh.
– Or six.
– Well, I like it thick,
and I like it nasty,
so I’m a big whiskey/bourbon boy.
Because we have such diverse palates,
like everyone watching out there,
I’m gonna allow my Rank Skanks
to give us their own ranking
by the end of the video.
But in the end, of course,
there is only one ranking
that reigns supreme, and
you’re looking at him.
Now to judge these cocktails,
we have three important criteria.
Number one, the lewk.
– The look.
– What’s the presentation?
Is she beat?
Or is she broke?
Number two, the flavor.
– The flavor.
– How does she taste?
How is she in the mouth?
And finally, number three,
the drunkability.
– The drunkability.
– Can you imagine yourself
getting turned on this drink?
Would you buy it at the bar?
I would also like to say that
we’re not judging the country.
We’re just judging it on the drink alone.
All right, y’all ready to get drunk
on a 10:00 a.m. on a Monday?
– In the words of Gia Gunn, “Absolutely.”
– [All] Try Guys Gay Time!
(whimsical music)
– [Eugene] Let’s bring on the
first drink, from Belgium.
– [Asadour] Black Russian.
– Ooh.
– It’s a vodka,
and Kahlua.
– Amazing.
– [Eugene] So this is the Black Russian.
– I don’t know, I just
keep thinking about how,
if this drink was a person,
it would look like me.
– It looks very elegant, very simple.
And I think, you know,
with two ingredients,
we can’t go wrong.
– Right?
It’s easy to make at home.
– And it does look like you.
– It does!
Cold.
– Dark, hard.
– Rigid.
– On sale.
– On sale.
(Eugene laughing)
– On sale.
– Are we ready for the flavor?
(whimsical music)
– Oh, that’s lovely.
– Mm, right?
– I love that.
– So it very much tastes like
iced coffee that’s spiked.
– That’s definitely a dessert drink
– All right.
– You like vodka, though.
– Mm-hmm.
No, it’s banging.
I’m just in shock.
It’s still 10:00 a.m. (laughing)
– This is what my 8th grade teacher
would probably bring to class.
– Absolutely, she did.
– Once she’s just over it.
– This is delicious.
– You can get fucked up off this drink.
– Oh, 100%.
– Yeah.
– You’re turnt, you’re not
gonna know your phone number,
you’re gonna lose your phone.
Honestly, I think I know
exactly what I’m gonna have
every morning when I wake up now.
‘Cause I wanted something to
have a little kick in my step.
– What have we done?
– Fuck the coffee, honey.
– All right, let’s get
the flags over here.
– I’m gonna put her in the middle.
– I like coffee.
– Oh wow.
– Yeah.
– [All] Next.
(tropical music)
– [Eugene] Drink number two, from Bermuda.
– Rum Swizzle.
Freshly squeezed orange
juice, pineapple juice,
two kinds of different rums,
and stir the bitters in it
to cut off all the sweet edge.
Just be careful while you’re
drinking, it’s strong.
– Thanks, Assi.
– Thanks, Assi.
– I’m never careful.
– Thanks!
– This is beautiful.
– It’s gorgeous.
– It’s gorg, I’m ready
to go to Bermuda, honey.
– She’s the prettiest person here.
Some place called The Swizzle
Inn made it first, apparently.
– That was my name in prison.
– Swizzle Inn?
– Swizzle Inn, honey.
– Oh, you swizzle in.
Now let’s do the flavor.
– Oh, bitch, okay.
(Eugene laughing)
– Tastes like a dad drink.
– A dad drink?
Are you just calling Rhea a dad?
– Daddy chaser.
– ‘Cause it’s two rums,
it’s dark and light rum, and I think
that’s what I really like
about it, is that dark rum.
– It’s like the cocktail that
you have when you’ve been
at the pool all day–
– Sunset.
– And you’re ready to dive into something
a little bit darker and deeper.
– Drunkability is through the roof.
– Yeah.
– You don’t know
how much you’re drinking
when you’re drinking
a rum drink with juice.
– And it looks really gay,
but it tastes very masc.
– For me–
– Higher or lower–
– Black Russian was higher for me.
– Okay, so you’re going–
– I’ll put her in the middle.
– What’d I say, I told you.
– And you’re putting
the direction of there, okay.
– I’m gonna put her
around, because it tastes,
I like fruity and non offensive drinks.
– [All] Next!
– [Arisce] The Caipirinha,
it’s one of my favorites.
– [Eugene] From Brazil.
– Whoa!
– Yes!
– [Eugene] Now Assi,
what’s in the Caipirinha?
– [Asadour] A sugarcane rum,
which is made in Brazil,
muddled lime with simple syrup.
– So my first trip,
internationally, after college,
was to South America, and Brazil, y’all,
(speaking in foreign language)
Brazilians are amazing and beautiful.
– I lived in Miami for five years,
and that’s all I had was
Caipirinhas and Mojitos.
– I like how basic it looks.
I like how it’s not all muddled
with all the fruits in there.
– You love that basic aesthetic.
(yelling)
– You seen the Spirit!
(speaking gibberish)
(speaking gibberish in slow motion)
– I had so many Caipirinhas
when I was in Brazil.
– This is authentic as shit, I love it.
– Uh-huh.
– Are you okay?
Why do you sound so hoarse?
– Um, it was tight, this is tight.
– The sugar.
– Yeah.
– It kinda tastes–
– There’s a lot in there.
– To me like a, like baby food.
– What?
– Like that banana baby food.
– I just had the banana, it
does not taste like banana.
– Why are y’all eating banana baby food?
– For snacks, instead of some
people like to have taquitos,
I’ll have a little slab of baby food.
– Oh, you’re not serious.
– I’m dead serious.
– That’s something people do?
Do people eat baby food?
– Hell, yeah.
It’s fashion week twice a year!
– I learned that treat from Willam.
– Oh, so you’d have baby food
to stay thin for something?
– Yeah.
– Oh.
Why don’t you just like eat
a, I don’t know, a vegetable?
What about that drunkability?
– Banging.
– Definitely, yeah.
You can get wasted on this.
– You can get wasted.
– Absolutely.
– I think if you’re a sweet drink person,
like if you want something to be sugary,
then this is dangerous.
– I love this more than the Black Russian
and this has a place in my
heart, because of Miami.
– [Rhea] I’m gonna put her here.
– Thank you.
– [All] Next!
– [Eugene] We’re now on
our 4th drink, from Canada.
– [Asadour] This is called Caesar.
It’s vodka, homemade clamato,
lime juice, and black pepper.
– I love Blood Marys.
Because this is a Caesar from Canada,
they use clamato, which is clam juice.
Do you like clam juice?
– No!
– Absolutely not.
I’m already enough fish.
I don’t need more.
– Exactly.
– Guys, I’m tipsy.
Let’s talk about the lewk.
– It’s pretty or whatever.
– I love the way Blood Marys look.
Huh, it’s like a Bloody
Mary, but it’s lighter,
and it has like a slight seafood flavor.
(Arisce gagging)
– I feel like I’m on fucking
“Fear Factor.” (laughing)
– Absolutely not.
– Where are all the kids?
– Absolutely not.
– Absolutely fucking not.
O Canada?
Ew, Canada.
– Where’s the flag?
– Girl, she going on the bottom.
– Tomato, a little clam.
– All right, if you like cold soup,
with a little of seafood after-flavor.
Yeah, no, we’re done with this.
– What, you’re both going–
– Yeah.
– Girl.
– Canada, Canada.
What about the drunkability?
You can’t get drunk on this?
Oh, you can’t finish enough
of it to can’t get drunk.
– I’m gonna opt for a water.
– [All] Next!
– [Eugene] Next drink, from Cuba!
– Mojito, it’s really basic.
It’s muddled mint, has a lime
juice, simple syrup and rum,
topped with club soda.
Cheers!
– The origins of this drink
date back almost to the 1500s.
– Wow.
– Wow.
They knew what they were doing.
It’s beautiful.
– Fresh.
– It looks like a drowned garden.
– Gorgeous, beautiful.
– I just think the mint
really sets it off.
– Yeah, it really does.
Mint also stands for 100%
like ooh, she’s mint.
– I’m excited.
– Mm, you know that flavor.
♪ I know it ♪
Fuck yeah.
(Eugene laughing)
Fuck yeah (mumbling)
(all laughing)
It tastes like a pool party.
– Yeah.
– Lovely.
– This is a kissing drink.
You can totally make out
right after having this in.
– Not like the Canadian
Caesar, not like that clamato?
– Barf.
– I’ve gotten turnt on Mojitos a lot.
– I have been drunk on Mojitos for years.
– What I’ll say about
Mojitos is that they are
a slight bit pricier
than regular cocktails,
so it’s the one thing that
keeps me from drinking them–
– Do wanna know why?
The bartenders have to muddle–
– Muddle, so it’s a lot of
work, and it’s a lot of quality.
Where are we putting
Camila Cabello, or Cuba?
Where are we putting Cuba?
– That’s my number one.
– Oh, shit.
Wow, you went high, and you
went lower than I thought?
– I’m optimistic.
– [All] Next!
– [Eugene] We are now traveling to France.
The Kir Royale.
– [Asadour] So it’s a Creme de Cassis,
black currant liqueur,
topped with champagne.
– Merci beaucoup.
Really, you’re like staring at it.
– I’m so excited.
– Yeah.
How do we feel about the lewk?
– I love the fruit floating at the top.
It feels like it looks so fresh.
– And it smells super lemony.
– Mm.
– Yum.
– Lemony Snicket.
– Yum.
– I think this looks fancy.
Look at Arisce holding this.
Say something in French.
(Arisce speaking in foreign language)
– It means skirt.
(all laughing)
All right, it’s pretty good.
– (speaking in foreign language) Rhea.
– (laughing) Oh my God.
Bonsoir, (speaking in foreign language).
I could have 20 of these.
– You know what it is?
It’s that black current liqueur.
The Creme de Cassis.
– The blacker the berry?
– [All] The sweeter the juice.
– Drunkability.
– I could get wasted on this.
– Yeah.
– I can’t get drunk off of champagne.
– I do all the time.
– Let’s put the ranking on
for my second home, France.
– I’m gonna go here, because
I feel like it’s a classic,
it’s simple, it tastes
lovely, and it’s French.
Next drink.
(jaunty Irish music)
– We do have over here, Irish Coffee.
Brown sugar, Irish whiskey,
topped with hot coffee, whipped cream.
– I think it’s cute.
It looks like a sundae.
– That’s what Starbucks
based all its drinks off of.
Oh, yeah.
– Mm.
– Work.
– This is that true morning drink.
We thought that Black Russian
was the morning drink.
– That’s like a real ass glass of coffee.
– It tastes exactly like coffee.
– This makes me think of
your dad got up in the ’50s,
and he’s going to work–
– Before he beats you?
– Yeah, he hates you.
And he just needs his
drink, but it’s morning,
and he’s going off to the plant.
– I wouldn’t know, I’ve never had a dad.
– I wouldn’t know, ’cause I
was more oppressed in the ’40s.
– Really?
(Rhea laughing)
Have we talked about this?
And drunkability, I
feel like, I don’t know,
it’s coffee with whiskey, it’s dangerous.
– I can see why they
put whipped cream on it.
They’re like, let’s sell this.
– Put it where you know it’s
gonna go, and move Canada.
– Oh, you’re putting it below Canada?
– Oh, yeah.
– So does this remind you of
your dad that wasn’t there?
– Well, I mean.
– (laughing) We’re just,
thank you Jesse Jones,
like what is this?
It’s gonna go where her Canada is.
No one’s going below Canada.
Just so we’re fucking
clear, that shit was nasty.
– This would be really nice on
a really cold, Irish morning.
– Colder than a witch’s teat.
(all laughing)
– Next!
(upbeat music)
And now, we’re traveling
to beautiful Italy.
– [Asadour] So we’re have a nice Negroni.
It’s equal part of Campari
with Vermouth and gin.
– So let’s talk about the look.
I love the color of this drink.
– Beautiful.
– It’s really pretty.
– It looks like my hair.
– Your fucking hair.
And I know from experience,
not many people like
the Campari flavor,
’cause it’s very bitter,
herbal, fruity, very specific
flavor that Italians love.
Not everyone loves it.
– [Rhea] I love that you
like to smell it, too.
– Does it taste like fucking on the beach?
– I always love to smell things.
– And I also like to smell
things if I’m gonna taste it.
– Yo, and that Campari, it’s a–
– Ooh!
– It’s a taste.
– Ooh!
– It’s a taste.
– This is drink you try.
(both laughing)
This is a drink you try, for sure.
– This tastes like my grandmother’s love.
She hated children.
– This is punishing.
– Oh yeah.
– It’s very bitter.
– I’m punished, for sure.
– Mm.
– You could get drunk
off of just one of these.
– Yeah.
– You could, but this
is a drink that I sip,
I appreciate it, I sip.
I’m not like chugging this.
– You know what?
If you don’t have a lot of
money, order one of these,
because you’re gonna have it all night.
– I would like to put it at the very end.
Those other drinks, I would
totally drink and I like.
This one, I would never drink.
– My Negroni is third from last.
– Y’all have very similar palates.
– She’s really pretty, but fuck her.
– [All] Try Guys Gay Time!
(upbeat music)
– [Asadour] A nicely done Paloma,
some fresh squeezed lime
juice, grapefruit juice,
some kosher salt, and a splash of agave,
with a nice tequila reposado.
– I think it’s pretty.
– It’s beautiful.
– I love the color.
Classy drink.
– Yeah.
A rich Latina woman is drinking this.
– Like grapefruit–
– J.Lo holds this for sure.
– This is banging.
– Oh, she already likes it.
– Oh, that’s a margarita, bitch.
– It is, like the prettier,
sexier cousin to the margarita.
She has more money.
– Way more money.
– There’s like, oh, there’s Margarita.
And there’s Paloma.
So the taste is delicious.
It very much feels
like a grapefruit tinged
brighter margarita.
If you’re a tequila person,
and you’ve never had a paloma,
it seems like you need to go
out and order one right now.
– You can get wasted on this drink.
– Absolutely.
– Oh, yes.
– You’re putting paloma
as your number one?
– Oh, this is it.
– Wow, you both put paloma very high.
– Today was a success based
on my new favorite drink.
– Rank King, not only
judging and ordering,
but changing lives.
– Mm-hmm.
– Yeah, changing livers.
– Changing. (laughing)
(light music)
Next, we have Peru!
– Pisco Sour, it’s made
with Pisco, it’s a rum,
with equal part of lemon
juice, simple syrup,
and the frothiness is
coming from the egg white.
– This is from Peru and Chile,
so Pisco is like the national liqueur
of both those countries.
Let’s just say how this looks.
– It’s so pretty.
– It’s stunning, the color’s gorg.
I love the separation of the nipple
and the rest of the glass.
– Yes.
– And I love
that the base is milky.
(all laughing)
– Hmm.
– Get past the froth.
– I kinda like it.
– It smells kind of liquorice-y.
– A little gardeny, you feel the fruit,
and you feel the herb.
– And the bark.
– I don’t feel the bite.
I like it initially.
– Would I make it at home?
God, no.
– Mm-mm.
– I feel like I’m drinking
apple cider vinegar.
– A little bit.
It’s tasty, though, but it’s light.
What about the drunkability?
– I don’t taste much with it.
I feel like it could
be one of those drinks
that really sneak up on you.
– I don’t know if I could get past one.
So I don’t think I could get
drunk off of one of these.
– Oh, interesting.
– [Arisce] In the middle,
because I don’t know
how I feel about it.
– [Rhea] I’m gonna put her 4th down.
– Next!
Are we ready to go back to the Caribbean?
Puerto Rico!
– Yeah!
– Oh, yeah.
– Bad Bunny, baby.
– He didn’t even have to say anything.
He’s just like, it’s
a fucking pina colada.
Pineapple, rum, Coco Lopez cream.
But you know, like a lot
of the Caribbean drinks,
the look is on point.
– It’s gorgeous.
I love the frozen kind of–
– I’m not a big frozen cocktail guy.
I feel like if you get
this blended all the time,
you should get the OG
one, ’cause it’s so tasty.
– I just want more coconut.
I’m used to that sugary
bullshit version from the store.
– Oh, ’cause this is
less sugary than that.
– Yeah.
– Oh, that’s lovely.
– Lovely.
– Mm!
I’m ready.
– Drunkability?
– I want 20 of them.
– Well, you already just
finished one in two seconds.
– Yeah, can I have 19 others, please?
– Wow, where would we put the
pina colada from Puerto Rico?
– Okay, one.
– That’s your number one?
More than the paloma?
– Yep, bye.
– Damn, girl.
– Nice knowing you, girl.
– Okay.
– Nope, I’m always looking
for the next best bitch, okay?
(all laughing)
– You were in Mexico, and
you visited Puerto Rico–
– Let’s be real, I already sucked him.
I got a new one.
– Oh!
(all laughing)
I’m gonna go here.
– Okay.
Thank you Puerto Rico, and we
are off to the next country.
Been a lot of places, seen a lot of faces.
– Ah, hell, I’ve fucked different races.
– Mm-hmm.
– [Asadour] We do have a Singapore Sling.
Gin, Cherry liqueur,
Herbal Benedictine liqueur,
lime juice, and that’s it.
– Try Guys have just
been there in the future,
we’re filming this before we’re there,
but this video’s coming out
after we were there for tour.
– Yay, Singapore!
– Singapore!
So let’s talk about that lewk.
– I like the drips from the
cherry into the cocktail,
how it kinda just like
falls down in there.
– Okay.
– Ladies first?
– Thank you.
– Work.
– Playing.
– Tell me what you think.
You really get the cherry.
– Oh, that’s amazing.
I love that.
– This is like wild cherry.
– I like it.
– Cherry Coca Cola.
– I like that–
– It has a wild cherry feel.
– I’d get wasted off of that.
– It’s definitely unique.
Think about the last time you had
a cherry flavored mixed drink, you know?
It’s just not something people get often.
– I wish that they did.
– All right, let’s do Arisce first.
Where do you wanna put–
– I’m gonna have to replace something.
Black Russian is moving down.
– [Eugene] So you have her in 3rd place,
– Yeah, girl.
– The Singapore Sling.
– You know what?
I’m moving paloma down.
My Singapore Sling is gonna go second.
– Okay, well, Singapore
Sling did really well
amongst my Rank Skanks.
Next!
(gentle guitar music)
Oh, everyone knows this.
– Oh!
– Sangria.
– So it’s the main base, it’s a wine.
We will bring it up,
a nice flavor into it,
put apple brandy, and
Cointreau, and I muddled
some berries in it, with pineapple.
– The color contrast is
gorg, and the orange–
– And you can smell it from here.
– The pomegranate.
– I love seeing the muddled
fruit on the bottom.
Oh, mama’s juice.
Let’s start dinner, great, table of juice.
– This is what’s up.
This is like that I will
not not be rich drink.
– Yes, yes, this is a
“Big Little Lies” drink.
– I just call it the Renata.
– The Renata!
– This is the Renata.
– I’m a Bella.
Give me back my wine glass.
– Oh, this is like grape juice, girl.
– This is like gay Jesus’ blood.
– Yes!
– This is gay Jesus.
– [Arisce] If Jesus was
a little more fluid.
– His name is Jaysus.
– Yep.
(all laughing)
This you would drink jugs of,
and then, realize you’re drunk.
You’re at dinner, and you’re just like,
I got the sangria pitcher,
if anyone wants to share,
and they’ll all fucking drink it.
They will all drink it.
– Right.
I’m gonna have to put
her at my new number one.
– Are you serious?
– No.
– Sangria’s my favorite.
– Okay, I’m gonna move everything down.
– We’re gonna move the
whole motherfucker down.
– Wow, and what about you, Rhea?
– My sangria’s down here.
– Oh, okay.
You love it, but it’s not
as good as those top ones?
– It’s good, but these ones are my girls.
– [All] And next!
(bright Middle Eastern music)
– This is a Lebanese Arak,
which is they’re really good at making it.
This is how we represent it.
First of all, an empty glass,
and actually, this is 50% alcohol.
Okay, so now, as you can
see, it changed the color.
– Yeah.
– Becomes milky white.
– Oh, wow.
– Weird.
You see that?
– Uh-huh, wow.
– [Eugene] And that’s
just from the liqueur?
– [Asadour] The ice
right now, we top off it.
– With water.
– With water.
– Oh.
– Oh, first of all,
you can really smell that
anise come off immediately.
– Oh, yep.
– That slight liquorice-y flavor.
I think this has been
the best look so far,
’cause it transformed
in front of your eyes.
Like a Pokemon evolving.
(electronic music)
Cheers.
Oh my.
– You love it.
– I’ve never had that.
(Eugene laughing)
– All right.
– It’s literally liquorice drink.
– So drunkability is
kind of with a full night
of eating and drinking,
so I think this is more
of a long, long drunkenness.
It’s more of a marathon, not a race.
– I don’t hate it, I’m
just not a liquorice fan,
so I’m like–
– Just think about beautiful,
how beautiful the people of Turkey are.
I want your Lion’s Milk.
– I need your Lion’s Milk.
– Okay?
And I ain’t lyin’. (laughing)
– We’re horny, yes we
are so horny, help us.
– I’m gonna put her in the middle here.
No, actually, I did really
like the Rum Swizzle.
– Got it.
– I’m gonna put it here.
I like it better than all of those things.
– So we’ve got two countries left,
and we’re going to the jolly old UK.
– [Asadour] We do have a Pimm’s Cup.
– Yes.
– Wow.
– I love it.
– It’s named after James Pimm.
It’s a liqueur.
Actually, it’s 25% of alcohol,
and topped with soda and ginger ale.
With a cucumber, we’re gonna have that,
gives that freshness.
– It does that candy cane
swirls around the side.
– That two become one look.
– I would say that the actual color,
I wouldn’t know if it was
spiked with soda or ginger ale,
but this is a ginger ale drink
– Spice up your life with ginger.
– Baby, Ginger.
– Hello.
– Posh, okay.
– Yeah.
I love this, it’s fucking banging.
I love it.
– I would drink this,
I like it.
– You know, it’s interesting.
There’s a certain freshness to it,
but it’s also slightly earthy.
I just really wanna try what
this Pimm’s tastes like.
It has like a Coca Cola based flavor.
All right, where you gonna
put the Pimm’s Cup, ladies?
– [Arisce] It can go
above the Black Russian.
– No!
– Oh really?
And where would you put yours?
– I’m gonna put her down here.
– Guys, one more drink left,
and guess where we’re going?
This has been alphabetical order,
and guess who’s dead last in the alphabet?
– Zimbabwe?
– Yes.
But we don’t have a drink from them.
Our final country, of course,
in the good old US of A.
You ready to take it home literally?
– [Asadour] The American, most traditional
and classical cocktail, Manhattan.
(Rhea gasping)
– Pretty.
– Carrie Bradshaw loves those.
(bell ringing)
– [Asadour] But rye,
because it’s the American
traditional whiskey, we’re
using the Sweet Vermouth.
– Yeah, this shit has been
popping for over a century.
Let’s talk about the visual.
I think this looks fancy,
but like dark and mysterious.
– It’s pretty, but masculine,
like some of my boys.
– Oh.
– The cherries are encased
in amber like Jurassic
Park, you can distract
and create dinosaurs.
I think it’s beautiful, look
at the way it’s hitting.
Who are you in “Sex and the City?”
one, two, three.
– [All] Samantha.
(all laughing)
– Wow, so diverse!
– All right, ready for the flavor?
– Let’s do it.
It looks like a nice brown eye.
– I guess we haven’t had many
whiskey or rye drinks, huh?
– All right.
– That’s amazing.
– Tasty, right?
– That’s good, I don’t hate it.
– It also has that sweetness
and fruitiness to it,
which is nice, because with
whiskey, it’s like so heavy
and so harsh, it’s hard to drink it,
but in a Manhattan, it’s kind of smooth.
– It’s like I’m on a boat in a dock,
inside of an old library
that’s also in a fancy bar.
That’s how I feel like
drinking this drink.
– That is layered.
– I do feel, like with
these types of drinks,
like this, and an Old Fashioned–
– Oh, this makes me wanna loosen my wig.
– No, you good, you look cute–
– Just, like itches. (mumbling)
– Ah, there we go.
What about the drunkability?
– Oh, yeah, I’m drunk, I told you.
– Okay, but we’re drunk with all of them.
Where are you putting
the final drink in you–
– Honestly?
There is one cup on this whole table
that doesn’t have a flag in it–
– Right here.
– And it’s exactly where I wanna put it.
(Eugene gasping)
– Bitch!
– Really?
– Exactly.
– Same.
– Shut up!
You’re both putting America–
– Right there.
– That low?
Shit, well, that’s your ranking, y’all.
So let’s discuss your top three.
So Rhea, you had pina colada.
– Number two, Singapore Sling,
and then, the Caipirinha,
I don’t remember what it tastes
like, but it’s number three.
– And for your top, you
had sangria, number one.
– Oh, sangria, yeah.
It gave me my full rich
white woman fantasy,
but it was in Spain,
so it was just enough.
– And then, you also had
the Mojito, and the Paloma.
And you both shared the same bottom.
– Just like in West Hollywood.
(both laughing)
– Which include Canada’s
Caesar, Ireland’s Irish Coffee,
and Italy’s Negroni.
Why are they your bottom three?
– They’re disgusting.
– Nasty.
– But, of course, that does
not mean that they are right,
because this is my show, and as we know,
I’m right, you’re wrong.
– Shh.
– Shut up.
– I will close ranks, and show
you what the true ranking is.
(dramatic music)
A few disclaimers.
Again, this comes down to personal taste.
We have very different palates.
It’s all subjective.
My least favorite drink
was the Rum Swizzle.
– What?
– I love everything
about the tropics, and the
Caribbean, except it just
was the most basic for me.
It tasted kinda like
orange pineapple juice.
Okay, my second to last
was the Singapore Sling.
I know.
– Son of a bitch.
– I know, it tasted like Cherry Coke.
Third to last, Pina Colada.
– Wow.
– I love pina coladas,
but I also feel like, I don’t
know, my mouth’s been there,
and I don’t need–
– Your mouth’s done that.
– Mm-hmm.
All right, my fourth to
last was the Pimm’s Cup.
It reminded me too much of Coke,
which I think is delicious, but overall,
not something I would
come back to voluntarily.
Still in my lower half
I have the Caipirinha.
– Oh!
I’m insulted.
– I love Brazil,
I love everything about Brazil.
The Caipirinhas are just so sugar forward.
The Irish Coffee, again,
it’s kind of basic.
It’s just coffee and whiskey,
but because it was one
of the few whiskey representatives,
I had to put it a little
higher than y’all.
The Sangria.
– I should leave.
(all laughing)
– I do feel like sometimes,
I have not great sangrias.
Every basic bitch thinks they can make it,
a little dime a dozen.
Kir Royale, it’s a cooler
way to drink champagne,
nothing too special in my book.
Lion’s Milk, very specific taste
that one must be into for liquorice,
but I thought the entire experience,
the changing of the liquor, I
thought it was really special.
The Black Russian, what can I say?
– Yeah.
– Ooh.
– Delicious.
– It was good.
The Caesar.
– Ugh.
– Listen.
– God.
– Listen, y’all.
– My gag reflex is alive right now.
– Bloody Marys are amazing,
clam juice and seafood,
right up this alley.
– He likes cold soup
with vodka and seafood.
– That’s right.
Paloma.
– Mm.
– The tequila depth with the grapefruit,
I thought that pairing was wonderful.
I don’t know why I don’t
have it all the time.
The Pisco Sour.
I just thought it was subtle,
I thought it was elegant,
I thought the Pisco had a
very interesting flavor,
and I really like drinks with egg whites.
My number three, the Mojito.
– Oh!
– Oh my God.
(both clapping)
– Yeah.
– You’ve redeemed yourself.
– Listen.
I’m not saying I’m against sweetness,
and I do love the pure
sugary sweetness of Mojito,
but it’s so fucking put in the
stratosphere with that mint.
Number two, the Negroni.
– Oh God.
– No, girl.
– Mm, I like that Negroni.
I wanna be challenged by my drinks,
and I think the Negroni,
while it challenged you
in a bad way, it challenged
me in a good way,
like made me wanna go, ooh, I’ll come back
and ace that class.
And number one, which is crazy,
who would’ve known we’d come here,
it was not because of
the country, necessarily,
but man, am I into Manhattans.
– I cannot.
– What?
– Yep, I thought it was
the best taste of the best,
had the best depth.
This is my final ranking.
At the top, I have the
Manhattan, the Negroni,
and the Mojito, and at my
bottom, I have the Pina Colada,
the Singapore Sling, and the Rum Swizzle.
Do you agree, do you disagree?
Let us know in the comments.
Let us know which country your from.
– I think we can all agree
that we love drinking
international cocktails.
Round of applause for all of
the countries around the world.
(all clapping)
Yes, goddess.
– And round of applause
for my two Rank Skanks.
It’s been The Rank King,
I’m (speaking gibberish).
– Huh?
(laughing)
– I’m right.
– You’re wrong.
– [All] Shut up.
(upbeat music)
– [Eugene] Ladies, what
are we drinking tonight?
– [Rhea] I was thinking like a vodka soda.
– [Arisce] I was thinking
like a vodka Diet Coke.
– Or a vodka soda with lime.
– (slapping) No!
– Ugh.
– We are not basic bitches. (laughing)
(all laughing)
Did your earring fly off?
– My Rhea bands flew.
– Oh, shoot!

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